Anger Management: Understanding and Working with Anger

Feeling angry from time to time is part of being human. Anger can help us recognise when something feels unfair, when boundaries are crossed, or when important needs aren’t being met. But when anger feels too strong, too frequent, or difficult to control, it can start to damage relationships, work, and self-esteem.

Why anger happens

Anger is often a reaction to frustration or hurt. Sometimes it’s a response to feeling ignored, rejected, or powerless. For many people, anger builds up gradually — then bursts out suddenly. Understanding what triggers your anger is the first step in learning how to manage it.

In counselling, we often find that anger hides deeper emotions such as sadness, fear, or shame. From a psychodynamic perspective, anger can be a defence — a way of protecting ourselves from more vulnerable feelings. Exploring what lies beneath can help you understand why anger shows up the way it does.

The body’s early warning signs

Anger doesn’t just appear in the mind; it shows up in the body too. You might notice a faster heartbeat, clenched jaw, or tight chest before you even realise you’re angry. Recognising these physical signs gives you a chance to pause — to take a breath, step back, and choose how to respond.

Learning to express anger differently

Healthy anger isn’t about suppression or pretending everything is fine. It’s about expressing emotion safely and constructively. In anger management therapy, you can explore triggers, practise calming techniques, and develop new ways to communicate feelings without losing control.

Over time, therapy can help reduce the intensity of anger and strengthen emotional awareness — making it easier to respond rather than react.

How counselling can help

Working with an integrative psychodynamic counsellor means looking at both the present and the past — understanding how early experiences, stress, and relationships shape the way anger is felt and expressed. This approach helps clients build greater self-awareness and resilience in everyday life.

If you find that anger is affecting your relationships, work, or sense of wellbeing, counselling can help you explore it safely and find more balanced ways to respond.

To find out more or arrange an initial session, you can email me at piers.hadman@grove-counselling.com or fill in my form here